The Adventures of Elissa and Zoron
by tickles44
Summary: "Oh, stop being so silly Zoron. While you may have a funny way of saying things in Antiva, I highly doubt you would have so odd a name as 'Zevran'."
1. Chapter 1

_AN1: Hello all! So, as I sit here wondering how writing an essay on the symbolic importance of a rocking horse will help me later on in life; I remember promising a sequel to Damn Elissa Cousland. This is not that sequel. This is a more of a midquel. In order to give myself a push to write said sequel I have decided that I will write ten drabbles in ten days chronicling Elissa and Zevran's journey to Vigil's Keep and on the eleventh day the first chapter of the glorious sequel (that still doesn't have a title) will be posted! As always: Read, Review, and Enjoy!_

_AN2: Speaking of the lack of title for the sequel- feel free to offer up suggestions!_

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Day 1

"Now, Zoron, how does my Kallian feel about poetry?"

"It's _Zevran_."

"What?"

"My name, it's _Zevran_."

"Oh, stop being so silly Zoron. While you may have a funny way of saying things in Antiva, I highly doubt you would have so odd a name as 'Zevran'."

Clenching his jaw and the reins, Zevran managed a tight smile, "None the less Your Majesty, it is my name."

Elissa Cousland let out a fluttering laugh, "Zoron, I can see why my Kallian holds you in such esteem. How droll you are!"

Kicking his horse forward, Zevran reminded himself that it is generally frowned upon to hit a woman.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2

Staring into the campfire and reflecting on the reasons he shouldn't kill Elissa Cousland, Zevran was interrupted by the reason for these thoughts.

"Zoron.", whined said monarch.

Reminding himself of reason #3 (Kallian would never forgive him if she had to watch Alistair marry another woman again) Zevran turned towards the Queen, "Yes?"

"I can't sleep." She pouted, flopping down next to him.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, may I recommend meditation? The silence would be a nice change of pace, I imagine."

"Zoron," she sighed, "I've been quiet all day because you told me that schleets were attracted by female voices." Wrapping her cloak tighter around her body she turned to him with a pleading gaze, "Tell me a story."

Zevran placed a hand on his forehead, massaging his temples, before taking a deep breath, "What kind of story, Your Majesty?"

"Tell about my Kallian's journey to becoming a Warden."

"That's a rather private matter that Kallian doesn't like to…"

"Oh, Zoron, Kallian is in love with me. I'm sure she'll tell me all about it later, but this way I can surprise her with my all encompassing knowledge of her life and she will love me all the more for my never ending quest to know every last detail about her."

Fighting the urge to role his eyes and making himself comfortable, Zevran set about telling an elaborate lie involving three nugs, a revenant, and the lost cheekbone of Andraste.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3

"What is that _thing_?"

"This is a rabbit, Your Majesty."

"No, rabbits are cute, fuzzy little pets or delicious meat covered in mint sauce. _That_ is a skinless, disgusting blob and I would appreciate you removing it from my presence.", and with that Her Royal Highness Queen Elissa Cousland plopped down and crossed her arms in a huff.

As he placed said skinless blob on a plate and started chopping it into pieces for the stew (and not at all visualizing someone else in its place) Zevran turned to Elissa, "You Majesty, unless you wish to once again dine on the dried meat you have been complaining about since the beginning of our journey I suggest you get over it."

"I don't care if I have to eat the jerky again, just take it away."

Clenching the knife tighter Zevran gritted his teeth, "But _I_ do, so if you would just turn around or take a walk in the forest I will make sure that the rabbit is out of your sight when you return."

"But you could be eating Fluffy!"

"…What?"

Realizing her mistake, Elissa quickly tried to back track, "That is…as Queen of Ferelden I am devoted to _all _of my subjects, even the smallest rabbit. Their pain is my pain, and when you chop one of them up, you chop _me _up."

Letting out a wistful sigh at the thought was all the distraction Zevran let himself before he turned to the Queen once again, "Your Majesty, I recall you enjoying a pig caught _in Ferelden _quite voraciously just last week."

"Pigs are ugly, Zoron. I don't include _them _amongst my subjects."

Seeing that this line of questioning would get him nowhere, Zevran tried another tactic, "Your Majesty, who is 'Fluffy'?"

"I…have no idea who you're talking about."

"The creature you were so worried about me eating before."

"Now, Zoron, lies are unbecoming in a man. I have no idea who this '_Fluffy_' you're referring to is."

"Well then, if there is no Fluffy, you won't mind me putting the rest of this _delicious _rabbit into the stew."

"Don't!" seeing Zevran's smirk, the Queen sighed, "Fine. When I was younger I had a pet rabbit named Fluffy, and she was my dearest and only friend; however, one day when Arl Howe came to visit, his hounds got loose and chased poor Fluffy out of the castle. They returned with blood on their muzzles and I was terrified that they ate poor Fluffy, but my governess assured me that Fluffy was now living in the forest and had a large, happy rabbit family. Ever since then I've insisted that every rabbit ever placed before me for dinner come from Amaranthine; in order to ensure Fluffy and her family's survival and also to further my vengeance against Arl Howe."

Zevran stared at her for moment, blinking, before picking up the plate and heading to the edge of the forest. "I…will go see if I can find a bird then."

"Be a good elf and make sure to bury the rabbit, Zoron!"

Turning back to her Zevran made to throw the plate before taking a deep breath, looking back to the forest. Stomping back into the trees, Zevran muttered under his breath, "Seven days left, seven days left, seven days left…"


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm not dead! Stuff happened and then more stuff happened but the point is I'm back and as a little Christmas gift from me to you I am going to be writing and updating as much as I can today and tomorrow. And let me personally apologize for making Bingham Vance pout. ;)_

_As always: Read, Review, and Enjoy!_

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Day 4

The fourth day was when they were attacked by bandits.

"Zoron! Zoron! The schleets are attacking!"

Stifling a yawn as he sat up, Zevran blinked sleepily at the distraught queen. "What?"

"I know you told me that schleets were attracted by female voices and that I should be quiet, but I wanted to compose a beautiful song so I could serenade my beloved when we arrived at the Vigil and the next thing I knew an arrow landed in the tree behind me so I ran."

Sighing, Zevran stood up and placed his hands on the queen's shoulders.

"How dare you! My shoulders are for Kallian's hands only and-"

Zevran quickly moved to cover her mouth before speaking himself, "Your Majesty, while I assure you that schleets are a real thing and you should be wary of them for the rest of your life considering the ridiculously high pitch your oh so lovely voice reaches I don't think that they use arrows. They are much more likely to devour you alive. Your singing probably attracted some bandits."

This guess was made a certainty when three men in worn armor came out with their bows trained on the queen.

"Well, well boys," their leader drawled, "looks like we got ourselves a noble wench _and_ her knife-eared servant."

"I've always wanted one of those! I never have figured out how me mum kept my clothes so clean."

Rolling his eyes the leader stepped closer to Elissa, "Now deary, I'm afraid that you haven't paid the toll to pass through the forest. And if you don't pay the toll, you don't get to leave."

His hand still on Elissa's mouth, Zevran pulled her closer to hide his reaching for a weapon, "And if we do?"

"Then we just cut her tongue out. No one would listen to a knife-ear, but we can't have her blabbering on to everybody now, can we?"

Zevran paused, "How much is this toll?"

"Ten sovereigns."

"Oh, we can pay that. While it would truly be a loss for my companion to never again open her mouth, at least she would survive." Leaning down in order to grab their coin purse, Zevran's hair fell over his shoulder, revealing his tattoo.

"Wait!" the third bandit screamed, "I know 'ho that is! It's that elf 'ho traveled around with the Grey Warden! They say he can kill a man just by looking at 'im."

"All my exploits have been greatly exaggerated I assure you. I'm sure that three strapping men such as you would have no problem beating me."

Slowly backing away, the bandits raised their arms. "S-sorry Mr. Elf sir."

"Yeah, we didn't mean nothing by it."

"H-here you want our loot, y-y-you can have it." And throwing said loot on the ground the men ran away.

Sighing, Zevran flopped down onto a nearby log and placed his head in his hands. Looking at him sympathetically Elissa sat down beside him, "Oh, Zoron don't feel bad. It was a close call but I survived and that's all that matters."

Looking up at her Zevran sighed once again.

"I know what will cheer you up! I'll sing you my song."

Watching the Queen of Ferelden sing about her many virtues and love of all elf kind, Zevran's head flopped into his hands once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Soo, yeah. Here you go. I found myself inspired again. Please don't kill me. _  
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_Day 5_

It was on the fifth day that they reached the half-way point in the Wending Wood.

They were just stopping to make camp when Zevran stopped, "Do you hear that?"

"No, what are you-"

"Quiet!" Zevran commanded before crouching down and grabbing his dagger, "I heard a loud growling sound coming from behind those bushes."

The Queen gasped. "Oh, no! What if it really _is _schleets this time? Or werewolves, or a possessed tree, or the long lost spirit of a fallen mage, awakening at last to take his vengeance-"

"WILL YOU BE QUIET FOR ONCE IN YOUR MAKER DAMNED LIFE!"

At Zevran's outburst, the rustling behind the bushes became louder before a mad dwarf pushed his way through brandishing a sword in one hand, and a flask in the other.

"Who's there? You'll be sorry you messed with- oh, elf, it's you. What are you doing all the way out here?"

But Zevran was unable to respond as he grabbed Oghren's flask and seemed to be intent on draining it to the very last drop.


	6. Chapter 6

_Day 6_

"May I ask, my stout little friend, why you have decided to leave your lovely wife and partake in the sad and dreary life of a Grey Warden?"

Oghren grunted. "Listen, elf, what I do with my life is none of your business and if you think-"

"So, Oggy," Elissa interrupted before Oghren could see the hurt briefly flash across Zevran's face, "You traveled with my beloved, correct?"

"Your beloved? Ohhh," Oghren snickered as Zevran sullenly rode beside them, "You're the lady who put the moves on the Warden. Heh! Hot."

Elissa preened, "Well, I like to think so. Anyway, I was wondering if you could tell me a bit more about Ali's relationship with Kallian. He seems to think she's in love with _him_. It's absolutely ridiculous given Kallian and mine's eternal devotion which rivals the love between Andraste and the Maker; but I was hoping that if I could learn more about their time together, then I could find out exactly what it was that gave him such a ludicrous idea. And _Zoron _over there has been absolutely _no _help."

Oghren looked confused, "Uhh."

"Oh, and while you're at it, if you could just tell me about _all _her relationships, that would be wonderful. My Kallian is such a mysterious little beast, and just think of how impressed she'll be when she comes to see me at the Keep and she realizes that I've already unraveled the tangled tapestry that is her mind."

"Listen, about the pike twirler-"

"Do you think she'll like that metaphor? Maybe it should be a tangled blanket, or a knot of some kind."

Zevran rode on ahead of them, unable to keep the smile off his face. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.


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